Ch-Ch-Changes

Yesterday I was sad.

KC and I have been living in different cities since we were married on July 3. It's been inconvenient and difficult, especially since I wasn't able to live in my own home because of that nasty little fire that I accidentally set. KC and I originally talked me moving to his city because his job was going to change and would pay better and give him better benefits. This would allow him to support me, and potentially a family, without me having to work. Ideally, we agree that the mother should stay home with children until they are at least in school. Then we talked about about him moving to my city because it looked like his job changes weren't going to take place or were going to be very delayed and because my job paid better and had better benefits. Things then started looking better at his job again...so we were completely up in the air about what to do.

I heard about what sounded to be a great job in his city and decided to apply. I faxed over my resume late one Friday afternoon and they called me before 8:00 a.m. the following Monday to schedule an interview. I scheduled the interview for the following Friday afternoon (last Friday) and took the day off. I drove up to his city Thursday night and had the morning before the interview to get my power suit in order, get my thoughts gathered, prepare answers for expected questions, etc. I bought a new suit that Thursday night and new shoes Friday morning. I had my game face on for this interview.

My interview was at 1:00 p.m. and I didn't get out of it until 2:25 p.m. It seemed like they were interested in what I had to say! I didn't want to get my hopes up though, so I tried to keep things pretty low key. On Monday of this week they called to tell me that I'd been chosen as a final candidate and that they would proceed with a background check. I provided them with the necessary information and Wednesday morning at 8:41 a.m. they called to make me the job offer. Of course I accepted. The job pays more, is less work, and most importantly I'll be able to live with my husband whom I love more than anything in this world.

So why did I instantly start crying after I got off the telephone with my new employer? I was SO sad. My heart just fell when I hung up because I knew that I'd have to say goodbye to everyone that I know and love here in my city. I've lived here five and half years and have developed relationships that I know I'll have for the rest of my life. Some relationships, like with Flik, I can't even imagine not having. There's rarely been a day since I moved here that I haven't had some sort of contact with Flik. I am her sister and she is mine.

I'll only be living a short distance away, relatively speaking...but yesterday and today it feels as if I will be a world away from all the people that are important in my life. I've developed unique and valuable friendships with co-workers. I will miss seeing, talking and laughing with them five days a week. A job is a job. I'll miss those people that I've grown to love.

When I left my home state those many years ago, I started over here only knowing two people. I know that I can do it again. I'm a likeable gal and have never had a problem making friends. But gosh, leaving these friends behind is like excising a piece of my heart with a dull blade. It hurts and I fight back the tears several times every day.

I'm having dinner with Flik and her sister (Pik) tomorrow after work. Pik lives three hours away and is coming to town for a "weekend away." Pik has adopted me just like Flik did. Pik and Flik's Mom and Dad adopted me too. They are my family when my family is so far away. Tomorrow will be the beginning of my goodbyes. I don't know when I'll see Pik or her parents again.

What lies ahead for me with KC is exciting and I know it will be wonderful. I am excited, anxious and READY for us to really start our married life together. I will be okay. I am happy with life and I will be happier in the weeks to come.

Today I am sad.